06.01.2017

I’d thought about this challenge a lot when I first wrote it in my list of ideas. I knew who I’d write to from the moment I decided on it, but dreaded writing it. I find that I am often apologising for things I did years ago, because although others have forgotten about it years ago, I cannot let it go. I once apologised to my mum for not being grateful for a gift she gave me when I was six! She had no recollection of it at all, but I still hate myself for it 16 years later! It sticks in my head like old chewing gum and I can’t let it be. I tend to tell myself I should drop it, because I don’t need to drag up old events and memories when others may have forgotten they even occurred. In this case though, I think I used that as an excuse to never say that I was truly sorry.

An aspect of this challenge I liked- writing! We don’t write letters enough anymore, and it is so different to writing emails or texts. I find it hard to get back into the swing of writing properly- I tend to write as my thoughts appear, in a stream of consciousness. It doesn’t make for the best reading! But again, I was making more excuses as to why I shouldn’t write it! I’m glad to say I did write it eventually, and although it wrenched at my gut to bring things back up that I like to forget- mainly about myself and past behaviour- I found it therapeutic. Hopefully it will be for the person that reads it.

FEAR-O-METER

PHYSICAL: 1—-2—-3—-4—-5

EMOTIONAL: 1—-2—-3—-4—-5

OUT OF OUR COMFORT ZONE: 1—-2—-3—-4—-5

FEAR FACTOR: 1—-2—-3—-4—-5

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